Are You “Avoiding” Your Goals?
It’s been a couple months since the freshness, excitement and anticipation of yet another new year has rolled around. If you are like most people, when it did, you set either some New Year’s resolutions, goals or intentions for yourself and your life. How are they going? Again, if you are like most people, those new year’s plans are already in the garbage…
Well, it’s complicated.
Being human is a weird, wonderful and really confusing thing.
Even if some of those resolutions, goals or intentions were (and are) things that you truly desire, we tend to give up on ourselves. We tend to avoid doing the things we know need to be done in order to get what and where we want.
We “avoid” ourselves away from our goals, dreams and desires. Sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. We convince ourselves that we can’t do things, that we aren’t capable of doing things or that things aren’t going to work out anyway --so we just don’t do anything. We avoid. We hold ourselves hostage by avoiding the scary next steps required for us to level up.
People avoid doing things that will move them closer to their goals in a variety of ways:
-Simply just not doing things and/or not taking the next steps
-Giving in to the fear/anxiety of stepping out of your comfort zone and giving up all together
-Spending time justifying why things aren’t getting or don’t need to be done
-Talking yourself out of doing things
-Convincing yourself you aren’t capable
-Not prioritizing time
-Using others as an excuse (other people and/or things)
-Starting other projects instead of committing your focus and energy
-Talking about doing, but never doing
-Distracting/wasting time doing things that won’t result in movement toward your goals
The list could go on to include a variety of other things and ways in which people avoid stepping up and taking action toward their goals. What’s important is, no matter how you are avoiding your goals, if there is something you truly want and desire, you can combat the self-sabotaging behavior of avoiding.
1) Get clear on what avoiding looks like for you.
2) Write Things Down: Write down the goals you want and why you want those things. How will they impact you and your life? How will it feel to achieve those things.? How will your life look once you have achieved them? How will the process of working toward and reaching your goals feel and impact you and your loved ones? What kind of person are you becoming in the process of grinding toward your goals?
3) Write down what steps you know need to happen. You don’t need to know everything or how to do everything. You don’t need to know how everything will work out. You learn as you go. But you know at least one action that you need to take now. Is it reach out and ask for help? Is it research? Is it to stop researching and start taking a specific action? Is it prioritizing time or saying no to things that are no longer serving you?
4) Commit yourself to start.
5) Be accountable. If you need to find an accountability partner, list out who that is. Contact them. Share what you are working on and ask if they can support you by holding you accountable.
6) Keep your expectations in check. Nothing, no matter how much you’ve planned, thought about, researched etc. is going to go exactly how you envisioned. Nothing. ***
7) When things get tough/stressful/overwhelming: take a break, have some fun, review your reasons why you are working toward this goal (step 2) and then get back to doing the next right step.
8) Remember, the anxiety about doing something out of your comfort zone is almost, without a doubt, much worse than the actual doing. So just do!
Here’s to no longer avoiding. Here’s to you no longer holding yourself, your life and your goals/dreams/desires and successes hostage by avoiding. Here’s to the doing, and the achieving all it is you want.
*** Coming Soon: Free “Keep Your Expectations In Check Worksheet” offered in conjunction with Best U Institute. Join their mailing list to stay updated at www.bestuinstitute.com and/or follow them @bestuinstitute.