Part of Growing is Feeling...and part of feeling is Anger

A quick scroll through almost any social media platform will yield about 40,000 positivity quotes. Okay, that might be an exaggeration, so let’s just settle on the fact that there are a lot of things posted under the guise of positivity. Some of them are wonderful and uplifting (dare I say motivating) and some of them down right piss me off. Which ones can have me go from contently sipping my morning cup of joe into straight up annoyed? Generally, the posts talking about anger. The ones that say things like ‘anger is a choice, make a different choice.’

Um, what?

Why is everyone so afraid of anger? It’s an emotion. It’s okay to feel. And yes, your response/reaction to anger is your responsibility. Violence and aggression are not okay, but that’s not anger. That’s an inappropriate reaction to anger.  Much like erratic and unsafe sexual behavior is an inappropriate reaction to the emotion of loneliness. You have emotions and you have reactions to those emotions- don’t get the two confused.

We should all be allowed to feel our feelings. All of them, including anger. Just because you experience the emotion of anger, does not mean you have to stay there. Like all emotions, they come and go—you’re not going to be happy all the time or sad all the time or feel helpless or empowered all the time. Life is flow and our emotions guide us. When did we become so disconnected from the reality of life and the experience of living that we somehow adopted the fairytale bs belief that we should be (or that anyone is) happy all the time? Emotions give us feedback about every aspect of our life. They should all be allowed, and all be honored. That includes the emotion of anger, and let’s be real, sometimes anger feels pretty damn good. It feels much better than feeling helpless or depressed or like a victim. Anger can be the emotion that moves you to make a change. Ever been in a situation you were unhappy in and it was finally getting to the point of feeling angry/frustrated enough that you made a change?

Let’s stop demonizing and dismissing the emotion of anger and embrace it for what it is. Simply an emotion we all feel sometimes.

Note: If you ever find yourself stuck in an emotion and not able to move through it (the emotions of anger or depression for instance) seek out professional help and support. Face it, life is hard and there are times we all may need a little extra support. A quick internet search can lead you to licensed therapists or support groups who are trained to help you through the times of feeling stuck.
-Cassie Gaub


Cassie Gaub