New Website + Confession
Yay! The new website is up! I am so excited, humbled and honored. That being said, I also have something to confess…
(Insert sound of me taking a deep breath about to be all sorts of vulnerable right now…)
The website took a little longer than I anticipated, not because I didn’t have amazing people helping and supporting me, but because of my own B.S.
I know?!?! I am a coach—with years of experience—focusing on this precise thing. And yet, the second I saw myself in photos that were to be used on the new website, my ego-mind went crazy. You know the ego-mind, it’s the part of you that wants to keep you safe. To protect you. To not have you venturing into the scary unknown. It’s the part of your brain that will conjure up a million reasons to procrastinate and stay where you are. It generally comes in like a ninja -- no warning.
While it can keep you safe in the face of real danger (i.e. telling you not leaving the cave if there is a hungry tiger outside) it is also that part of you that keeps you stuck. Our ego-mind doesn’t know if the fear we are feeling is because of a real threat or simply because stepping out of our comfort zone feels scary. You can call this ego-mind a variety of things: your lower self, your Debbie Downer, your inner B.S, etc.
I call mine, ‘Gloria’. And sometimes ‘Gloria’ is a real B.
The second ‘Gloria’ saw my pictures blasted all over a website draft, her voice was loud and clear, “holy moly—why is your head so gigantic?” Mind you, I’ve never really thought about how big my head was until that moment—and then it was ALL I could think about.
Oh and ‘Gloria’ doesn’t stop there, once she gets an ounce of traction, she’s like mac truck speeding out of control. My mind became filled with a million and one reasons that slowed the process down… what if I misspelled something- how embarrassing would that be? What if I become too busy now that the new website is up? What if the links don’t work? What if I forgot to include something? What if… You can see how the ego-mind escalates quickly.
Because I’ve been doing this for so long, I knew I needed to give myself a minute, go inside and figure out what all my B.S. was all about--because in reality, it had nothing to do with the pictures. The pictures are me. That’s who I am, that’s what I look like. What it came down to was the fear of the unknown-- the fear of really putting myself out there in a bigger way and the fear of stepping into vulnerability.
Truth: vulnerability is hard and stepping out of our comfort zone is uncomfortable.
I’m reminded of a saying, “growth can hurt—that’s why they’re called growing pains”. Everyone, unless you are a diagnosable narcissist, deals with this. Just because I’m a coach who works with people on these exact things, doesn’t mean that I’m not human. I am. I am 100% a perfectly imperfect human being. And this imperfection-- it helps me be a better coach. It helps me understand. For real, I get it when my clients are going through the struggle of growing and becoming what and who they desire to be. I know the feeling of uncertainty, fear and the difficulty of being vulnerable. I am with you as we all are growing, learning and becoming.
So here we are: new website, new adventures, and new opportunities to reach and work with even more amazing people who are ready for some big ol’ changes.
And coming March 5th...A 6 Week-- Bust Your B.S. DIY coaching program (offered through Best U Institute).